Blog Reflection

Choosing different topics for each posting allowed me to venture out and research issues of parenting which I may not have done otherwise.  It took me on a journey intellectually which introduced me to all kinds of wonderful new knowledge.  The most helpful research for me was the information I collected regarding child discipline and child nurturing.  Being the mother of two small children, it was very eye opening to read some of the different research out there.  It took me on a journey emotionally as well, reflecting on different scenarios I’ve encountered with my children.   Just looking back on my early postings, it reminds me that my baby Savanna is two months older and has changed so much since I first began this blog! 

The blog assignment was definitely a new learning experience for me in several ways.  First of all, I’ve never been very computer savvy so the whole idea of a blog went from being a bit scary at first to an enjoyable way to document research and real life events.  It was definitely different to incorporate both research and personal experience into one assignment, as I’ve never had to do this in the past.   This non-traditional blog format introduced me to new aspects of learning, which will be helpful in the future.  In a world that is driven by computers and technology, any new knowledge on how to use them its always helpful!  Being able to write about a topic of our choice was an enjoyable way to not only learn about the topic, but to be creative with what we share as well.  Since I chose to write about my children, this non-traditional approach made it fun and easy to share my blog with family and friends.

The visual rhetoric assignment definitely provided a learning experience for me, as I wasn’t familiar with any of the forms of rhetoric before.  Mythos, pathos, logos and ethos are things that we experience in our everyday lives, and it is interesting to be able to look at things in a new way now.  For instance, when I see billboards or advertisements I am now able to see the rhetoric  used to capture their audiences.

Overall I found this assignment to be both enjoyable and informative, which is a great way of learning!  I hope to continue with my blog, as I’ve gotten wonderful feedback from viewers saying that they’ve enjoyed reading about my children.  For me, it is a great new way to share what is going on with our family who we may not speak with on a daily basis.  While I’ve always heard about blogs in the past, I never would have thought of making one of my own before entering this class, so I’m very appreciative for the opportunity!

Too much TV?

One of the issues I’ve faced with my older daughter, who is three, is how much television is appropriate?  Since very early on, I’ve always been cautious of how much TV she watches for fear of her becoming anti-social or less adjusted than her peers.  Growing up, you could always identify the kids who were “addicted” to television and/or video games, and I vowed not to let my children become that way.  Personally, I’ve never believed in any of the educational aspects of TV and DVDs, but I must admit that TV can be extremely convenient as a parent.  I know that when I have chores to do, or when I’m cooking dinner it’s easy to distract my daughter by putting on an episode of Barney or Dora the Explorer.  She has her own couch that she sits on, and it keeps her entertained while I am able to accomplish what needs to be done.  I feel that, in moderation, TV is appropriate for children- as long as they don’t become overly consumed with it.

Research done by the ALSC’s Children and Technology Committee suggests that children under the age of two should avoid screen time all together.  Not only can too much TV lead to kids not being very well adjusted, it can also lead to obesity and has been linked to Attention Deficit Disorder.  It has been suggested that libraries should begin to offer alternative entertainment sources, such as age-appropriate toys, finger plays, and board books instead of movies and computer games for kids.  The committee also suggests that libraries should offer baby-appropriate technology, such as interactive toys, as a way to offer parents a technological option without over stimulating the baby’s brain. 

These days, there are many mixed signals being sent to parents.  When we watch TV, we often see commercials advertising products such as Your Baby Can Read, which is a learning system claiming that it can teach infants to read before their first birthday.  Many DVDs that were previously thought to be “educational” have been recalled and refunded after removing wording from the packaging claiming that the DVDs were educational.  Simply stated, there are better educational alternatives for children.

In 1999 the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement urging parents to eliminate all screen time for children under two years, which includes TV, computers, video games and various phone applications geared toward children.  This is an issue that has been argued since the late 70’s, but it seems our children are watching more and more television.  According to the AAP, “the more TV preschoolers watch, the less well they do academically in the first grade; also, the more TV preschoolers watch, the less well-socialized they are in the first grade”.

Arthur, N. (2010).  Technology and television for babies and toddlers.  The Journal of the

Association for Library Service to Children, 8(2), 58-59. Retrieved December 8, 2010 from EbscoHost Database.

Visual Rhetoric

     This is a picture of an older and younger sister(my daughters) posing for their mother (me). The eldest has clearly taken the spotlight, leaving her sister to fall over, and is attempting to have the photo be entirely of her. The younger sister has been tossed to the side and forgotten about in the wake of the photo shoot. It illustrates that while there is excitement in the arrival of a new sibling, there is obviously still a strong need for personal attention.  As this photo captures, children can let their feelings be known in ways that don’t involve words, and every parent of multiple children will have to deal with teaching their kids to cope with sharing the attention of their parents.

     This photo has a mythos driven rhetoric in that any person with children or siblings can relate to it. Older siblings can reflect on when their younger siblings arrived and how they reacted and how they may have reached out for extra attention.  Those who have older siblings may know what it’s like to grow up in the shadow of an attention seeking older brother or sister.  Finally, parents of more than one child of their own can probably relate best to this photo as they’ve likely dealt with the issue most recently.  They know what it’s like to witness their kids fight for their attention, especially the older siblings at first.

     Logos is shown in this photo because after you read “sister” on the younger child’s shirt, and see that they’re dressed alike, it is implied that they are siblings.  They are wearing big sister, little sister shirts that have their names written around them.  While at a first glance you may assume they’re siblings, the appeal based on logic or reason lets us know that when we read the shirts and look closer to see that they are the same, we know that they definitely are sisters.

     This photo shows a father and his two daughters.  He is feeding one while the other looks on with admiration.  It shows an example of a good, hands-on father.  The newborn baby is looking up at her father with love and joy as he feeds her.  It is obvious that she is very comfortable as he nurtures her.  The toddler sits comfortably and patiently as her father tends to the baby, which lets the audience know that this is a comfortable setting for both children.

     Pathos is evident in this photo because it displays the emotion of parenting.  Other parents may see this photo and be reminded of the joys of nurturing their own newborn child.  The emotion of having a toddler looking up to you can also be seen and remembered. 

     Ethos is shown in this photo by the speaker is the father who is caring for his children.  The character of the father is evident in the photo, which you can tell by how calm and content the children look.  They look well taken care of and well nurtured.  The expressions on the children’s faces let you know that they look to him as a loving and caring father.

Nature or Nurture?

 I’m sure every mother has had that moment where their child is crying for what seems like no reason at all, which can be incredibly frustrating. As it turns out, it can be for emotional reassurance purposes from their parents; they just want to feel loved and nurtured at that moment. (Now lets be clear, if underneath of the crying you hear “IIII waaantt fruiittt snackkkss” and it is accompanied by flailing arms and legs, that is still just called a temper tantrum.) But for those other frustrated mothers out there, rest assured, your child is not a bad kid. It is argued that well-nurtured and well-adjusted children may be able to cope better because they don’t need that extra encouragement, but every child deals with things in their own unique way.

From the time they are infants on, babies and children crave nurturing from their parents.   Infants like to feel emotionally nourished which can be done through simple things like diapering, hugging and giving lots of personal attention when it is needed.   As children learn to self comfort, they often adopt comfort items, usually a doll or blanket, while others take to sucking their finger or thumb.  It is discussed that babies as young as 10 days old will sit quietly between diaper changes if they are certain that their stomachs will be kept well fed.  “That's why you need to meet your infant's needs promptly. Research shows that the more quickly and lovingly you relieve your baby's distress in the first three months, the less she will need to rely on crying. She'll learn to express her needs through more mature actions, such as gesturing, jabbering, or reaching out her arms to be picked up” (Honig, 2004).   Overall, it is suggested that repetitive soothing, nurturing, and talking to throughout infancy helps in developing a better adjusted toddler.  Studies have shown that a secure bond between parent and child early in development motivates early learning.  Well adjusted toddlers work harder at solving tasks and problems than their less emotionally adjusted peers.  They don’t give up easily and are more comfortable asking for help and accepting suggestions.  “They seem zestful rather than irritated about challenges, such as stringing a large bead on a shoelace or working on a busy nesting activity. And they're more likely to play peacefully with peers” (Honig, 2004). 

            As a mother, I often wonder if I’m doing things right, and what I should do differently or better.  Being the parent of children so small, it is sometimes overwhelming to think that how I raise them now will ultimately impact the people they become.  Reading this article actually made me feel better, because I was able to relate with a lot of the points made.  People have always told my husband and I that we were “lucky” to have such good babies, since neither of them cried too much, but I’ve always preferred to believe there is more to it than just luck.  We’ve always believed that if we shower our kids with love and affection the correct parenting decisions will come naturally and coincide.  Once they understand they understand that they are loved and that they will be nurtured and cared for, their sense of security becomes established and that allows the child to open up entirely.  While we obviously have our moments, overall, when my children cry there is an easy resolve.  Below is a picture of me with my children and my idea of nurturing.

 

Honig, A. (2004). Giving the gift of security.  Scholastic Parent & Child. Retrieved November 28, 2010 from Ebscohost Database.

Bottle or Breast?

As the due date nears, every expectant mother faces the question of how to feed their child.  There is that age old question of bottle or breast?  It’s a huge issue, which I’ve personally dealt with twice now. The interesting thing about breast-feeding is that while you assume the decision should be personal to the mother, you quickly realize that isn’t true.  For me, it was shocking to realize that when it comes to feeding your newborn child, everyone from your parents to your neighbors seem to have an opinion on what you should do with your breasts.

 When my oldest daughter was born, I had every intention of doing things the “right” way, so when it came time to do the registry for our baby shower I went to the nursing aisle of Babies R Us and I registered for everything that anyone could possibly need to breastfeed a baby.  For those who have never walked down the lactation aisle of a baby store, you couldn’t imagine the overwhelming number of products out there.  There are breast pumps, bottles meant to look like breasts, breast pads, bags for breast milk, and much more.  Ironically, they say all of these products are to help feed your baby the natural way, but for me, after taking one trip down that boob aisle all I could think was am I ever going to look at my breasts the same?  Is my husband ever going to look at them the same?  And while I could never know for sure, I can only assume any man who has ever walked with his wife down one of those aisles has had to have asked himself if he would ever look at his wife’s breasts the same.  While it can be overwhelming at first, there are a lot of helpful products out there, but it does take some time, patience and sometimes money to find the right things for you.  However, despite all of the things available which cater to helping a woman to breast-feed, only 40% of women reported exclusively breast-feeding their baby’s under three-months this past year.

While breast-feeding rates remain low among mothers in the U.S., some lactation scholars attribute this to hospital practices. They argue that “hospitals should not be responsible for marketing a product—especially a product that is not the preferred method of infant feeding (formula).”  It is recommended that all infants be exclusively breast-fed until age six months, and in spite of this information 70% of the surveyed hospitals reported sending patients home with formula sample packs (Blazek, 2008). Researchers argue that birthing centers should consider discontinuing these practices to promote a more positive approach toward breast-feeding.  While healthcare professionals recognize that the hospitals do receive free products such as bottles, nipples, and storage containers for their ICU units in exchange for accepting sample packs from the manufacturers, there is still more that can be done.  Another offered reason for the disparity between breast-feeding recommendations and the high rate of formula distribution is the simple lack of awareness of providers.  It has been given out for decades without question, and therefore people continue to so without questioning its implications. 

I definitely agree with the convenience the sample packs provide.   When I began supplementing my younger daughter with formula, part of the reason probably was the easy accessibility of it.  It is very interesting to consider the implications that these free samples make. 

Blazek, N. (2008, October).  Breast-feeding rate remains low among U.S. mothers.      

IDInChildren.com.  Retrieved November 20, 2010, from EbscoHost Database.

How do you discipline your kids?

Even the best of kids will act out from time to time, so my question to you is how do you discipline?  As I mentioned in my previous posting, I am a fan of the time-out method myself.  On occasion my daughter will try to fight the punishment and run away from the time-out chair, but for the most part it works well for us.  Just this past weekend, my lovely three-year-old had trouble comprehending that you can’t eat all of your Halloween candy in one evening.  Ever try rationalizing with a toddler holding a plastic pumpkin full of candy? Let me tell you, it is no easy feat.  It was late and I knew she was tired, but it didn’t make the very loud crying any less unreasonable or piercing to my ears.  Finally, when we could all hear again, I told her to go to her time-out chair until she felt better and was ready to join the rest of us in the family room (sans candy).  When she calmed down, she apologized and I explained to her that we could have some more candy tomorrow (if she behaved), but for that moment it was goodnight for the candy and goodnight for Brianna. 

The time-out technique is discussed as a good strategy at first but not in the long term.   An expert in developmental studies argues that while pediatricians recommend parents use time-out as their preferred form of discipline, it is only effective in the short term.  She says that as children grow older, this method will not teach them to manage their own behavior.   Interestingly, she suggests that time-out should not be used as a punishment, and it should instead be used as a temporary way to remove the child from a situation where they are acting inappropriately.  She discusses her belief that discipline should be about teaching which she backs up by saying there is no one form of teaching that works with every child.  She says time-out is about giving a child private time and space to calm down after being removed from an unmanageable situation.

Another good point this child development scholar makes is that sometimes kids will fight being taken out of a situation to go to time-out.  Naturally, parents tend to respond by forcing them to stay where they’re supposed to be, she discusses how instead of teaching the child how to manage their anger, it becomes a battle of wills between parent and child.  It becomes counter-productive. 

Although this researcher  does acknowledge that it isn’t always easy negotiating with a toddler and that constructive forms of discipline should be used, I think it has to be unique to each child.  My daughter thrives on routine, and because of this I feel a routine punishment is also necessary.  I’ve learned that if I try to implement different forms of punishment, the opportunity to teach her a lesson becomes lost in the chaos of something new.  My daughter does interpret time-out as a form of punishment.  Personally I feel that consequences are necessary and while they should be a learning experience, they should also be what they’re intended to be; a punishment.

Every parent has their own style of parenting and thus their own style of discipline.   There is obviously no easy way to figure out what works best for you, since any form of discipline comes from an unpleasant situation.  Ultimately, kids will be kids, and like I said, even the best behaved will have their moments.  As a parent you handle these situations however you feel is best for your child.  As this child development expert says, “It should teach the child something about what is reasonable behavior and what is not and not just be a demonstration of power on the part of the parent.  It’s that understanding of what is reasonable and expected that will help [youngsters] get along in the larger communities of school and the workplace as they get older” (Parents, 2001).

                                                         (Our time-out chair)

Parents should use ‘time-out’ judiciously—not effective in long term. (2001, January). USA Today. Retrieved November 3, 2010, from the EbscoHost Database.

Introduction

My name is Courtney Henry and I am the mother of two daughters; Brianna is three and Savanna is two months.   Before each of my two children was born, I spent many pregnant nights reading books about parenting and childhood alike; how to do things the “right way.”    Through my readings I learned a lot about topics like what to feed your child, self soothing, transitioning a big sister, etc, etc.  What I also learned was that nothing I ever read could prepare me for the journey I was about to embark on; parenthood. 

This realization is what brought me to the title of my blog.  My personal experience of parenting has been quite an adventure and I’ve learned many lessons along the way.  As a mother, I’ve realized more than anything that you learn the most through experience.  For example, while out shopping with my daughter recently, I unexpectedly learned how to react when your child throws a temper tantrum in a public place, a lovely way to start the day!  It was the first time I had ventured out with both kids and things were going pretty well, right up until the part they weren’t.  Long story short, I had an infant carrier with the baby in one arm and my screaming, flailing toddler in the other.  You can imagine the stares I received, but I politely met them with a smile and nod which let my fellow shoppers know we were all on the same page; my kid is a menace! 

Luckily, we now know that if such a thing happens again, she comes home and goes straight to the infamous time -out chair.  (On a side note, I’m sure every parent has one of these, ours happens to be in the corner of our formal dining room.  And don’t worry; the only thing formal about our dining room is the chandelier that hangs over countless toys, which, on a good day are actually put away. )   Back to the lesson at hand though, I hadn’t planned on coming home with this knowledge that morning, but who ever has?  I’ve learned more than once that kids will force situations on you that you’re not prepared for.  After all, who can prepare for things like finding your daughter and your spare bedroom covered in red lipstick, or hearing her say ‘dead’ for the first time.  That’s the funny thing about parenting; you learn to expect the unexpected.  No book can teach you what experience does.